Ths week’s community newspaper came and I purused
the “Public Safety” section to see what the miscreants
were up to in our neigborhood.

It looks like someone is having too much fun with
these police reports.
I

listed a few

from the last weeks but here are some, uneditted
and just as they appeared in the newspaper

[with a few comments from me added]

.
I am not making this up.

• A woman reported missing by her husband
  came home. She was out shopping.
• A man contacted at Westlake Park was not smoking marijuana as
  origionally reported, just plain ol’ ordinary cigarettes.
• A Tri-Met bus driver called police to
  report the man who helped him fix the fare
  box using an eight-inch hunting knife
  as “suspicious”.
  Reports suggested the driver did not
  consider the man threatening.
  
  [Just your normal, everyday citizen
  helping out. --MB]
  
• Police took a call from a man claiming he
  came home to find 10 people camped out in
  his house.
  The man retracted his story after taking
  his medication and realizing he’d
  imagined the whole thing.
  
  [This happens to me all the time. --MB]
  
• 
  [This is exactly as it appears in
  the paper. --MB]
  
  A Dumpster fire was reported at the
  Luscher Farm dog park.
  The Dumpster is provided for the disposal
  of … ew, gross.