As I have

reported


before

,
the local, small town paper reports the last week’s police business.
Some of the entries from last week were:

• A woman was bitten by a dog at Palisades Market,
  which was probably only fair since she’d just
  hit him with her car.
• You, the woman who walks the blond lab at Westlake
  on weekday mornings –
  someone is going to call the police the next time
  she sees you with the dog off leash.
• A house was doused with shaving cream and toilet paper.
  Tis is apparently the second time this has happened,
  and presumably has something to do with the
  teenage daughter living there.
• A woman was reported driving around First Addition,
  yelling as she drove, “Does anyone want to buy a car?”.
  Police located the woman, who does indeed have
  a car for sale.
• A resident of Pointe apartments — who had apparently
  been drinking — reported that the coffee man
  has placed a bomb in her apartment.
• An individual was cited for excessive noise
  emanating from his drums.

And, as always, this is exactly as it appreared in the paper.

And, very saddly, two of the reports were of young women
(12 and 14) attempting suicide.
Very sad.